Intimacy in Marriage: The Top 10 Ways to Prove You’re All-In
Intimacy in Marriage: The Top 10 Ways to Prove You’re All-In
Marriage intimacy forms the foundation of your relationship. Memorable moments with your spouse define who you are as a couple. And learning new ways to love one another is how happy unions outlast the test of time. So, are you all-in on intimacy, or does your betrothed deserve more sugar?
You can’t have the marriage you desire if you aren’t willing to put in the work. Fortunately, making love to the person of your dreams is about having fun and sharing emotions. It shouldn’t be challenging to communicate your feelings through all forms of affection. Yet, many otherwise happy couples struggle to keep the flames burning bright.
What does it mean to be all-in on marriage intimacy? It starts with you holding nothing back in the bedroom. After all, who are you hiding your sexy secrets from when your spouse is your best friend? God designed marriage to give a husband and wife a safe place to explore their fantasies. Let’s be sure we’re taking advantage of His plans.
What Does It Mean to Be All-In on Marriage Intimacy?
Being all-in means reserving nothing and sharing everything. It consists of maintaining an open line of communication above all else. You cannot determine your lover’s desires if they’re afraid to share them with you. Loving gestures, thoughtfulness, and shameless flirting will only get you so far.
A no-holds-barred relationship involves two committed people who are willing to dive deep. Marriage intimacy also relies on your understanding of each other’s wants, needs, and boundaries. This is your chance to try new things with your spouse. Or you can learn how to take your boo at face value in the bedroom rather than placing unfair expectations on them.
Intimacy in matrimony can be tricky, especially when you’ve been together for several years. Life can get in the way with hectic schedules and focus on other things. And while intimacy can take many forms, some couples forget about the fire in their loins. That’s when you’re no longer “all-in.” You’re distracted and discouraged by the world around you instead.
Determining whether you’re covering all the bases isn’t easy either. First, you must learn the authentic, Biblical definition of intimacy. Then you have to talk to your spouse to uncover their buried treasures. God hides gold for the worthy to find. Are you ready to start digging?
In the Bible, God gives us the definition of intimacy with Him. He addresses the various forms of intimate exchanges also. As it turns out, there’s more than one way to feel closeness and familiarity with another person. His design is undoubtedly rich with opportunities to love and be loved.
Proverbs 19:22 defines intimacy as unconditional acceptance. An excellent example of that is how God accepts us despite our sins, choosing to love our hearts and minds instead. He gives us a clear view of what it’s like to feel comforted, cared for, and understood on a spiritual level. But how does the Biblical definition translate to modern marriages?
Intimate spouses obviously enjoy having sex. However, true closeness comes after fostering a holistic connection with your partner. You must nurture the relationship with God’s grace, emotional maturity, and intellectual stimulation before the physical aspect follows. That’s because intimacy denotes vulnerability, and your marriage should be the softest place on Earth.
Truly close couples feel deeply understood by their significant other. Many times, they can communicate their thoughts and feelings without uttering a word. They often hold meaningful conversations in silence and can please their lovers in new and exciting ways, usually without request or explanation. Marriage intimacy is not about mindreading, though. It’s about unlocking the full potential behind your vows.
FACT: Close couples share a willingness to listen, learn, and accept without condemnation.
How to Tell If Your Marriage Needs an Intimacy Upgrade
You can be happily married and still not experience a profoundly intimate connection. The reason is that many couples never learn the actual definition. Modern society tells us that intimacy means sexual gratification, and the buck usually stops there. Yet, loving spouses can feel satisfied regardless of how often they meet in the sheets.
Sex frequency has little to do with marital intimacy. However, sex quality is a major determining factor. Studies suggest that couples who enjoy making love stay together for longer. And who wants a massive disconnect with the person you have sex with for years? Your marriage should never feel like a one-night stand or a chore.
Meanwhile, you must be willing to give some activities a second chance. That’s because you’ve likely grown closer to your spouse since the wedding day. Ideas you once despised could now be the key to a much-needed intimacy upgrade. So, remove all distractions and consider the future. Then remember that your sex life is crucial to Holy matrimony.
You can’t call yourself “all-in” for your marriage unless you’ve conducted an exhaustive search on your spouse’s mind (and body). That’s like calling yourself a swimmer when you’ve never touched the pool. But Peter would have never walked on water if he did not step out of the boat. So, trust God’s design for marriage to boost your bedtime routine.
Here are three ways to tell if it’s time:
- You’re too embarrassed to bring up or request specific sex acts or favors.
- You haven’t enjoyed an orgasm in a while, and neither has your spouse.
- Both of you crave something new and exciting in your marriage.
Failing on the intimacy front is like telling your spouse that they’re not worthy of having your all. If that’s not the truth, don’t make them feel like it is. Demonstrate your commitment to the marriage by going all-in (no pun intended).
The Top 10 Ways to Show Your Spouse You’re All-In
Your spouse is waiting to feel more connected and intimate. And you share their desire to grow closer in and out of the bedroom. Well, here is some news you can use. Relationship experts say that foreplay should happen all day. It helps prepare the mind and body for sex while establishing and maintaining a healthy bond.
In the meantime, use these ten marriage intimacy boosters to get a head start:
#1: Make Plans Together
Always be thinking about the future. It shows how excited you are to be married to your spouse. Demonstrate your desire to experience life’s adventures together by looking for exciting opportunities to try new things as a couple. Or designate a particular portion of your day to stay linked and focused on the marriage. You’ll either discover details organically or share them as the conversation flows.
#2: Date Each Other
Plan a fun and frisky date night with your spouse. It can be any day of the week with no special occasion or strings attached. The idea is to nurture each other with positive one-on-one interactions that support your relationship. So, build intimacy through familiarity and then spice it up with date night goodies. You can break the ice on challenging conversations or create new memories and goals for the next round.
#3: Harness the Power of Touch
A condition called “touch starvation” occurs when someone doesn’t receive enough physical contact. That often means people can become sad, withdrawn, or ill when hugs are hard to find. The power of touch is tremendous, and it helps solidify the bond between you and your spouse. Therefore, find ways to graze your hand across theirs. Give them a pat on the tush, or sneak a smooch whenever you pass in the hall.
#4: Learn the Love Language
Discover your love language and learn how to speak to your spouse’s heart. After all, relationship experts have discovered at least five different ways to show affection to another person:
- Physical Touch - Hugs, kisses, regular sex, etc.
- Quality Time - Date nights, daily excursions, family outings, etc.
- Words of Affirmation - Compliments, encouragement, accountability, etc.
- Acts of Service - Doing favors, anticipating needs, thoughtful gestures, etc.
- Receiving Gifts - Tokens of affection, “Just Because” items, souvenirs, etc.
How does your husband or wife prefer to be loved? The best part about marriage intimacy is learning those things better than anyone else.
#5: Re-enact Your Love Story
Replay the best days of your relationship. Think back to when you first met your spouse. Then consider the best parts about bringing them into your life. Now, try to relive those moments but do it better this time. You can avoid obstacles, improve your approach, integrate new knowledge, or recreate a memorable scene. Either way, this is your chance to show your love how much you still adore them.
#6: Give Meaningful Gifts
Listen up if your beloved enjoys getting gifts. There are several ways to give to your spouse. That means you don’t have to be a millionaire to make your partner feel special. Just show how much you’ve been paying attention to what they do and say. Offer small but meaningful tokens of your affection and appreciation. Then hold no expectations about how they should act or respond to your generosity.
#7: Become Their Biggest Fan
You love your spouse, so prove it. Transform yourself into their most enthusiastic supporter. You can show your allegiance by giving well-timed compliments and offering help with their goals. Or make a list of the top 10 reasons you admire them, then review the list whenever you need uplifting ideas.
#8: Talk and Listen
Sharing sexual fantasies and discussing boundaries is a critical part of marriage intimacy. The reason is that your lover will never understand your desires if you don’t tell them. Remember, getting married doesn’t make your partner a psychic. And discussing cheeky topics can be tricky if your spouse won’t listen.
#9: Use Your Resources
This world is full of enticing products to help you establish and maintain intimacy in marriage. For example, you can buy marital aids that enhance your stroke. You can also find products to ensure more pleasure for her. Or enjoy each other more with sexy lingerie, shiny body jewelry, or devices for body exploration. While you’re at it, remember the sex furniture to ensure nobody gets hurt while getting it on.
#10: Love to Learn
Continue your intimacy education, even if your marriage is better than ever before. Seek Christian marriage resources and guides to develop a deeper connection with your spouse through God’s design. Then don’t stop learning just because you feel content where you are. Keep pushing the boundaries of what you think is possible.
Your Marriage Intimacy Guide
Improve marriage intimacy regardless of your past or present inhibitions. Find out what stops you from feeling close to your spouse and remove the barriers that prevent you from going all-in. Is it that you don’t know how to do X, Y, or Z? Or do you need help avoiding pain during sex? Whatever the case, there’s an answer waiting for you.
Meanwhile, don’t expect to have the marriage you desire if you’re not willing to be all-in for intimacy. Hold nothing back from the person God has ordained for your life. Using these ten effective strategies, you can turn your spouse into your best friend and most intuitive lover. Then talk to a relationship counselor or your pastor for more personalized tips.
OTHER RESOURCES FROM ROMANTIC BLESSINGS
Romantic Blessings believes all married couples should enjoy intimacy the way they see fit. But learning new facts and techniques can be a challenge because sex is still taboo. So, check out our library of Christian-based resources to help you improve your love life and glorify God through a happy marriage.
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