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Why it's important to share your fantasies with your spouse

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Why It's Important to Share Your Fantasies with Your Spouse

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Did you know that couples who fantasize together stay together? Sharing sexual fantasies may not be the only element to a successful Christian marriage but it’s still a crucial component. A recent study published in the Journal of Sex Research proves that. 

As it turns out, spouses who openly communicate their sexual fantasies enjoy more excitement in the bedroom. They’re also less likely to experience unfulfillment in the relationship, and breakups are fewer too. So, it would seem as though honest and candid sex is the best kind. 

Talking About Sex Doesn’t Ruin the Surprise

Discussing your desires is a sign of a healthy marriage. But what about the element of surprise? Doesn’t divulging your fantasies make it harder to try new things? The answer is a resounding no. 

Expressing yourself to your wife or husband is what marriage was designed for, so take advantage. Not only does talking about sex not ruin the surprise, but it also helps ensure both spouses get what they want. Sexual openness is part of obtaining and maintaining trust. Plus, it helps you establish the perfect balance between safety and risk.  

Your spouse can’t fulfill their marital duties if they don’t know what to do. And you can’t fault them for not delivering the goods when you refuse to place an order. That means both spouses should be equally open to this discussion for a long and fruitful marriage. 

How to Tell Your Spouse What You Really Want

Being honest about your sexual fantasies is usually a challenge, especially if you want something extra kinky. You may fear rejection, ridicule, or worse. But the truth is that your spouse probably has some fantasies of their own. And you can’t throw stones when you live in a glass house.

The sooner you open up to your spouse, the sooner the cravings will go away. Most likely, your idea of fun isn’t as strange as you believe. So, here’s how to bring it up when you’re ready:

  1. Determine Your Desires 

    Think about your fantasy and consider the details. Try not to be prejudice against yourself while ruminating on the ideal experience. Instead, let your mind flow and pay attention to how your body responds. That will tell you which fantasies can have the biggest impact on your libido.

    TIP: Read a Christian romance novel for some inspiration. 

  2. Consider Their Opinions

    Chances are your brainstorming session produced some pretty kinky ideas. But don’t just blurt them out. Try to think about your spouses physical, emotional, and intimate boundaries. Their opinions matter, as do biblical principles, so some of your fantasies may never come to fruition.

    TIP: Check your fantasies against the Word of God and seek therapy for unhealth compulsions. 

  3. Decide the Best Approach

    You know your spouse better than anyone else, and sometimes even better than they know themselves. That gives you special access to their heart but it’s also a big responsibility. If your fantasies are safe to mention, make sure you do so in a sensitive and patient manner.

    TIP: Research methods for expressing yourself about sensitive or taboo topics. 

  4. Offer Some Sexy Suggestions

    Your spouse may be intrigued by what you say but they’ll still need some examples. So, be ready with a few metaphors or stories to help you explain. And if you think they’ll be in the mood after the talk, bring some sex toys (marital aids) for an impromptu demonstration.

    TIP: Shop for pleasure products together to turn up the heat

  5. Try It Without Bias

    When it’s time for action, neither spouse should be judgmental, impatient, or impervious. Both should keep an open mind and understand that first times are usually awkward. That’s why it’s a good idea to try things without bias a few times before formulating an opinion.

    TIP: Approach your spouse’s opinion with compassion and make adjustments where necessary. 

Fantasy fulfillment can be fun in a Christian marriage if you maintain the right mindset. And it also helps to have some sexy tools on deck. But what do you buy and try if you’ve never done this before? That’s a great question. 

3 Tools to Help You Fulfill Fantasies for Your Spouse

You want to express yourself to your spouse, and you want your spouse to feel satisfied when you’re making love. But once you’re past the communication part, what comes next? How do you fulfill fantasies with empty hands. Answer: You don’t. 

Tantalizing tools are crucial for satisfying sex in marriage. Sex toys and accessories can enhance sensations, increase pleasure, boost confidence, ensure safety, and maintain intimacy. So, these are the 3 tools you need to get started: 

  1. Environment Enhancers  

    This could include anything from scented candles and soft blankets to date night kits and sex furniture.

  2. Foreplay Devices 

    Grab some massage oils, vibrating underwear, lingerie, and penis pumps to get the party started. 

  3. Pleasure Products 

    Don’t forget the prostate toys, clitoral play devices, and vibrators for when things get serious. Embrace the joy that comes with satisfying your spouse in a biblical way. And try to provide some aftercare items if you plan to get extra kinky. Things like bandages, wet wipes, and lubrication can go a long way in fantasy land.

Make Your Marriage Great Again 

Whether you’re newlyweds wanting to start off right or long-time soulmates in need of a change doesn’t matter. Talking about fantasies is vital to a long and happy marriage. So, open up about your sexual fantasies with honesty and listen with compassion. Somewhere, there’s a sexy middle ground with your names all over it. 

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