What God Says about Sex in a Christian Marriage

The Bible says we shouldn’t be lovers of pleasure, but what if God’s design is for us to enjoy pleasure as long as our focus is on the right things? As it turns out, that’s exactly how it works.

Marriage is a construct created to promote sexual intimacy between two married adults. There’s nothing wrong, dirty, or unspiritual about being turned on by your spouse. In fact, the Bible very clearly states in Proverbs 5:19:

“Let her (your spouse’s) breasts fill you at all times; be intoxicated always in her love.”

The importance of keeping the flame alive in the marital bedroom stems from our sinful human nature. God knows we are all lustful creatures, so he gave us a safe way to express ourselves with someone we love.

In 1 Corinthians 7:5, it says this:

Obviously, God wants us to remain strong while being fruitful and multiplying. But because of mankind’s natural love of pleasure, men and women should get married if they want to make love. However, marriage can become incredibly difficult to maintain when the sex isn’t good.

Your spouse promised before the Lord that they would stay faithful and only derive their sexual pleasures from you alone. It’s therefore unfair to deny them their due conjugal rights without a good reason. You essentially break a vow and leave your partner pining for more.

Think of it this way: If there was a flavor of ice cream that your spouse really loved but you couldn’t get it anywhere, wouldn’t you buy up as many pints as possible when you finally found it on sale? That’s what the marital bed is all about – going above and beyond to spoil one another with physical pleasure at whatever cost.

Truth be told, our Creator made us to express ourselves in the most intimate ways with our spouses. And contrary to popular belief, procreation is not the primary purpose of sex. After all, people desire to have sex more often than women can get pregnant. The real purpose of marital sexuality is to draw couple’s together and prevent temptation.

The Bible says that the main goal of sex is to render affection to your spouse, even (and especially) when you don’t feel like it. Sacrificial love is, after all, the Christian way. Lovemaking is therefore a tool created by God for human beings to use for spiritual growth.

When it’s done right, healthy sex looks amazing in the eyes of God. It can help connect three important things in your mind and heart as well:

1. Your mate

2. The act of giving

3. Receiving pleasure

You essentially begin to equate pleasure with the act of giving and thoughts of your spouse. That in and of itself can fortify a marriage. The side effects then begin to spill out into the household, the community, the church, and beyond.

Furthermore, married men and women are created to give their bodies over to their mates after vows of “one flesh” are said. So, refusing to give sexual pleasure is like taking away what rightfully belongs to them. It’s a major bummer to remain unsatisfied in bed, but it’s extremely rewarding to make your baby smile with a generous “yes.”

As a loving spouse, you gave a vow to God and your spouse to find meaningful ways to express your affection and pleasure your partner safely. Fortunately, God has made provisions for all sorts of post-nuptial perks like that. Your role as a Christian husband or wife is therefore to walk hand-in-hand with each other until every romantic blessing is discovered.

Technically, sexual immorality does not exist in a marriage as long as both partners agree and none of God’s moral laws are broken. So, while you can’t have orgies or lust for others, nothing says you can’t play with sex toys or experiment with your bodies.

There’s no reason to stop having fun just because you’re getting older either. According to recent studies, married sex actually gets better as you age. The problem is seldom one of lacking arousal or intimacy. Usually, it has more to do with decreased ability and a limited range of motion. That’s why taking care of your health is also essential.

In many cases, simple sex furniture can fix that problem and help reestablish a dying flame without causing someone to get hurt. Even younger married couples enjoy positioning aids. Products like sex swings and restraints allow anyone to safely try new things. Plus, vibrators and penis rings can help ensure a job well done every single time.

In the garden, we were naked and unashamed. As married Christians, we should feel the same way when we’re alone with our spouse in bed. After all, God gave us sex and intimacy to fulfill our physical desires in a biblical way while strengthening our marital bonds.

Meditate on God’s design for a Christian marriage. Ask Him to reveal hidden desires so you can fulfill your duty as a sexually active spouse.